Complaining...

My fan operates too slowly. Sir X does not know how to check papers, let alone the art of teaching. I could not sleep last night because of the mosquitoes buzzing around. Someone needs to teach them how to cook food. I made a huge blunder in my exam.

Aren’t these sentences those that you get to hear a lot within your social circle? The issue here is complaining. We love to complain, sometimes without any reason, perhaps we are too impulsive, or maybe we never try to exercise patience. We all know that it is “easy to complain only”; you actually have to do nothing practically apart from moving your tongue, so instead of really doing something, complaining seems a better elective, and hence, we tend to go for it. Please mark that I am not against positive criticism, neither against sharing or discussing your difficulties with someone you are close to, thereby lightening the burden of your heart. The point that is being made here is that it is useless to nitpick only, and let it flow, making it a habit.

A better option is to remain cool, and try finding solutions, way-outs that can actually erode away the problems we are facing. Why not call the electrician directly without publicizing our faulted fan?! What is it that we can do if it’s hot outside? Can we change the weather? Can the person we are talking to modify the hot conditions? Well, if the mosquitoes are causing nuisance, bring a mosquito-mat and use it, problem solved. Believe me that most of the time, almost always, the person you are complaining to about random matters is not the problem-solver, you are just letting your frustration out.

Let us spot some reasons behind this phenomenon. The obvious reason appears to be painting an image of yourself as a man with fewer conveniences and more difficulties, hence gaining psychological advantage over others of being a stronger personality, or maybe you want others to know the hassles you face because you are just frustrated or angry of bearing them, or at times, the reason is just absent, and trust me, this is the most odd, rather dim-witted form. It is agreed that at times, it becomes necessary to complain. Why do we have complain-offices anyways! Then, sometimes, you may want to seek advice of an experienced person in a particular field, and let him or her know about the troubles you face, in order to acquire guidance. The point remains, complain to the respected person, one who can be of assistance to you, do not burn your calories by doing so otherwise.

Patience is the key here. Just give it a go. Only when you learn to be patient would you know how it “tastes”! This is not something, which I am saying by myself; there is a strong recommendation and cheerful tidings in The Noble Qur’an itself:

“Verily, Allah is with those who are patient.”

And what a news this is! What to agonize when yours Lord is with you? At another place,

“O you who believe, seek help in Patience and Salah (Prayer).”

What does being patient signify? It is to handle the matters at hand objectively with clam. There is no need to publicize them. Remain firm, without letting the softness vanish from your heart. Let the tears flow, but do not scream. I just remember a maxim that is frequently attributed to Charlie Chaplin:

“I want to cry in rain so that no one can see my tears.”

There is so much to pick from this one statement, I mean where do I find a person who conceals his worries from everyone pretending to be the jolliest man on earth. That was all for the hard-hitting times. Period!

What I find peculiar is that when I happen to converse with people belonging to a privileged class, they tend to complain more, just like that, not for any reason. On the other side, when I meet someone belonging to middle-class or lower-class families, I am hearing the chants of “AlhumduLILLAH!”, “Thanks to my God, everything is just fine.” Where is the loop-hole? I am not talking about those who are asking for money in tough times or just a habit. Examples are your friend for the former and a “professional beggar” for the latter.

The one who is not habitual of complaining is the king of his world. The individual is content, vivid, and light, he enjoys his life. Yes, ups and downs are a part of existence, but they are the daily-goings which this person can pass off smoothly and joyfully. On the opposite side, the one who is engrossed in making complaints for petty reasons remains confused, irritated and in a dry-mood no matter how much facilities he benefits from. Someone who is sleeping tight in his cave, with no worries, is well-off than a king trying to snooze in his magnificent castle with thousand fears encircling his head. Irrespective of being what you are, a caveman, a king, a business-man, student, teacher, employee, or wherever you may belong, you need to smile, trace your way, make an effort to get to the root of your difficulty and instead of merely complaining, crack it practically. And yes, you can always look at the one who is less-privileged than you are.

Flashback!

You at least have a fan. You can at least go to a university. You have the money to buy a mosquito-mat. Thank your Lord that you have clean food to eat, and can gulp cold sip of water to quench your thirst, not everyone have this gift. This is not your last exam.

It makes a lot of difference in seeing the picture from a special angle.